There’s something suspicious about your hard drive. You don’t know how to explain it, but each time you turn on your computer, eerie foreboding background music takes hold of the house. More disturbing than this is that the flickering hard drive light stays in beat with the dark music. This is how you know that your life is a foreshadow to a zombie apocalypse—and it will all be started by your hard drive.
How do you know for sure that your hard drive is becoming one of the undead? Well, let’s just hope that you have experienced none of the following symptoms.
1) Crackling and Clicking
Is your hard-drive starting to make strange sounds (almost like the miserable moaning of the undead)? The crackling and clicking that you hear is the hard drive scraping against its coffin. Be warned! Your hard drive is trying to get out of its metal box to join the zombie brain-eating ranks. This sound can caused by the heads vainly trying to find information, or they are misaligned and hit the plate. If this is the case, it’s best to keep the computer off (which would successfully keep the hard drive from completely converting to a zombie).
2) Corruption in Your Files
Your computer is freezing up? Not functioning perfectly? Well, that’s another typical symptom of a deteriorating hard drive. It happens when the drive tries to read a corrupted file or program. This is an indication that your hard drive is slowly succumbing to the "zombie virus" or the "Tvirus." Take caution, it only gets worse from here.
Side note: If you didn’t need your computer so much, you’d already be taking anti-zombie measures. Soon it’ll be too late and you’ll have to lock yourself in your room with a shotgun. Haven’t you learned anything from zombie movies? Kill it or fix it!
3) Computer Slows to a Halt
It's not hard to get away from a flesh eater, but it sure makes is hard to get anything done when your hard drive is becoming one of the undead. Slow file access may be due to bad or damaged sectors in the hard drive or it may be fragmented. An optimist may say it’s only the software that’s dragging your computer down. But you can’t afford to think positively; you will only procrastinate the inevitable. Besides, the foreboding background music hasn’t gone away. Plan for the zombie apocalypse—back up your files on a healthier, and much faster, hard drive.
4) Files Mysteriously Disappearing
You can’t access your files because the disk was damaged and the hard drive cannot access the information. There are always victims in zombie movies. Though your zombie hard drive has not tasted human flesh yet, it bides it time until its escape by eating your precious data. If you’re not careful, it’ll eat it all. Zombies have an extensive appetite.
5) Blue Screen of Death
While this isn't always the "end" of your computer and hard drive, it's a pretty sure sign that things are going bad--quickly. The zombie metamorphosis is almost complete. The virus has spread to the screen—which has the characteristic blank, blue (overall dead) stare.
The End is Near
So finally, your hard drive died. The clicking sounds have stopped, your files have been completely devoured, and your hard drive is slower than ever (as in dead). We have to call it—your hard drive is a flesh eater. Don’t panic yet; there’s more bad news. The Tvirus is now on the prowl. It was all started by your hard drive, whose undead activities spread the Tvirus throughout cyberspace and into the real world. Well, that’s what you get for procrastinating. Just hope the government doesn’t track down the Tvirus to your burnt-out computer.